Recently, my heart was broken when I had to say goodbye to
my newborn adopted son. I feared it was broken beyond repair. As I try to put
the pieces back together, I find myself reminded of the many blessings God has
placed in my life. I am grateful for my parents, who dropped everything and
rushed to support and comfort me in my hour of need. I am grateful for my
stepdaughters, whose exuberance for life remind me to find joy in every moment.
But most of all, I am grateful for my husband, who shows me daily that he loves
me, who shares the burden of pain, and who is the best friend I have ever had.
There are so many things I love about my husband – so many
reasons that make me grateful to have him in my life. In honor of his birthday, here are seventeen of
them…
He is the eternal
optimist. I have spent most of my life thinking the cup was half empty. I
see potential problems looming in the future. I anticipate the worst. But my
husband is the opposite. Every morning, he wakes up ready for great things to
happen in his day. He finds the positive in every situation. He finds the best
in each person with whom he interacts. He anticipates success. His way of
thinking is rubbing off on me, and I find myself seeing the silver lining
rather than the stormy rain cloud.
He is the handiest of
men. Every wife appreciates the fact that her husband can reach things high
on the shelf, replace the occasional light bulb, or even fix a leaky faucet.
That is all I expected when I married my husband, but I was immediately blown
away. If you can think up a home improvement project, my husband can do it. We
wanted a fence around the backyard to keep the kids safe. He installed it. We
thought a play set would be nice for the girls to play on. He put it together (with
a little help from family). The upstairs bedrooms needed better lighting. He
carved up the ceiling and installed recessed lights. The attic fan was letting
cold air in during the winter, so he rigged up some insulation. I needed a
counter top and some storage in the laundry room, so he put them in. A raised
bed garden? He built the beds. New grass in the yard? He tore up the old yard
and seeded the new. No door on the pantry? He put one in. He has upgraded every
room in our house with storage, paint, new tile, trim, ceiling patches, new
lighting, ceiling fans, and more. I never said he did it without making an
unbelievable mess…but he is quite the handy man.
He is an extroverted extrovert. As an extreme introvert, my husband’s incessant need to be
around people can sometimes be a challenge. However, it is also an opportunity
for me to grow as a person. He encourages me to attend functions and meet new
people – not things I get particularly thrilled about. And when we are in a
room full of loud chattering people (a downright terrifying predicament from my
perspective), he pulls me away from the corner and helps me engage in
conversation with others. He never meets a stranger, never runs out of
questions to ask or topics to discuss, and I often don’t have to do anything
but smile and nod. Whew!
He is confident. My
dad always said it would take a special man to put up with me. I’ll admit it.
It’s true. But my husband can do it, because he’s got confidence. He believes
in himself and can stand up to even the most stubborn of women – yes, me.
He is an amazing dad.
I have never seen a more naturally affectionate father. He loves our
daughters with all his heart, and they dote on him like he is the king of the
universe. He is affectionate and playful with them, bringing out their natural
exuberance and humor. He empowers them by helping them identify what they are
feeling and problem solve through it. He helps them resolve conflicts with each
other through role play and empathy. He encourages self-expression through
music and art. But most of all, he reminds them of his love through words and
actions on a daily basis.
He can put a meal
together. Okay, it doesn’t sound like much, but it sure is nice to know
that if I am going to be at work late or out of town for a week, I don’t have
to worry that the family is going to starve while I am gone.
He is an encourager. My
husband enjoys building others up. He looks for the good in the people around
him, and then he uses his words to encourage them. Anyone who has ever worked
with him knows that he likes to leave unexpected notes on desks to bring a
little sunshine or drop off a cup of coffee just as a kind gesture. It’s why he
is so good at what he does – teaching beginner band. While other people hear a cacophony
of unintelligible noise, he listens for the student who is using good breath
support or tapping his feet to feel the rhythm, and he compliments them. In a
world of negativity, my husband can zero in on the positive and encourage it to
grow.
He is soft-spoken…and
he understands that I am not. I grew up in a house where raised voices were
the norm. My mom and I spent most of my teenage years in high volume. But my husband
is helping me realize that a quiet voice is just as powerful, or maybe more so,
than a yelling one. I actually can’t think of a single time since I have known
my husband that I have ever heard him raise his voice in anger. It is just not
a part of who he is. And yet, when I have had a really rough day, and I just
need to let it out, he doesn’t take it personally and he doesn’t scold. He
understands me.
He is a problem
solver. No matter the situation, no matter how difficult or impossible it
seems, my husband is always testing out the options in his head and searching
for a solution. And he doesn’t give up. If one plan doesn’t work, he keeps at
it until he finds a way to make things work.
He drives me around.
Here is another one that seems a little insignificant. But I REALLY hate
driving. And I have a terrible sense of direction. Even with Google Maps on my
phone, I manage to get myself lost. It is such a huge weight lifted off my
shoulders when I can hop into the car and not worry about how to get wherever
we are going. I don’t have to be on high alert, watching my mirrors, looking
out for pedestrians. I can relax, because my husband’s at the wheel.
He is forgiving. It
is a little difficult for me to admit, but I make a lot of mistakes. And my
husband forgives me. I don’t have to worry that he is going to hold a grudge or
remind me of my failures down the road. He just forgives.
He is an excellent
musician. I always figured I’d have to marry a musician. Music is too much
a part of who I am not to be able to share it with my life partner. My husband
teaches music for a living – it is one of his passions. He is an excellent
teacher and conductor. He brings out the best in people musically. He even
taught me to play the trumpet as an adult and got me involved in a small church
orchestra to challenge me. We both appreciate and feel music deeply. It is a
common language and something we can share with our children.
We have fun together.
My husband is my best friend. There is no one I would rather spend time with.
It doesn’t really matter what we are doing – watching a movie, painting a
bedroom, or climbing a volcano in Italy - we have fun doing it together.
He is a cuddle bug. This
is very important to me, because my primary love language is physical touch. My
husband shows his affection for me by holding my hand, sitting with his arms
around me on the couch, and giving me long hugs any time I need one. Our daughters
love to snuggle, too, and we often spend lazy Saturday mornings cuddling and
tickling under the covers or sitting warm and cozy by the fire.
He appreciates me and
my uniqueness. As I have said, only a special person could put up with me
and my eccentricities. I am stubborn, high-spirited, idealistic, fastidious,
and demanding. And yet, my husband acts like he married a real princess. I am
not sure how, but my husband manages to see the best in me, and he shows his
appreciation for me – not just for the things I do like cleaning up or taking
care of the kids – but for who I am…including the characteristics that are
often off-putting to others.
He is a dreamer. If
you ever see my husband looking like he is in some sort of daze, it is probably
because he is concocting some really grand plans in his head. He loves to dream
big, and he is always looking for ways to make things better.
He makes me a better
person. When I am around my husband, I can feel myself become more
positive, more encouraging, and more hopeful than I am by myself. He brings out
the best in me. I am so blessed to have him, so blessed to get to spend my time
with him, and so blessed that, God willing, we will grow old together, molding
and shaping each other into better people.
